Those crazy ducks!

Hey Reader! 

It's been a while hasn't it?

Where have a I been?

Well ... living!

So, my big son has been busy. He started kindergarten in August so, our rather hectic schedule of work, daycare, karate, swimming just became ... more.

We were on skype to my parents in New Zealand, and Mana, my big boy, was showing his Grandma his homework.

When we got to a specific page with his homework, he didn't want to show it and he became quite shy.

He had explained to me earlier that he didn't know how to draw ducks and was rather upset about it.

So when I got to the page with the pictures of his ducks, I busted up laughing.

Yes. Agreed. As a parent I am killing my sons self confidence.

But sometimes? It's just funny!

So I read my mum the problem on skype:

"Five ducks were swimming in the pond. Two ducks flew away. Draw a picture and write a number sentence to show the number of ducks in the pond right now."

And here are the ducks.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to be around if these ducks are flying away from the pond. 

They might get you pregnant.

Is that your outfit, or a costume?

Do you think that sometimes or is it just me?
I'm both impressed and disgusted sometimes at the apparel people chose to adorn their bodies with.
Don't you see some of the things people wear sometimes and think "Why would you pay money for that?".

I love me some body confidence BUT I think we all need to be aware of our body shape, type, size, and what flatters YOU the most.

All this being said, is it terrible that I love winter?
It's too cold for people to flaunt all their skin (whether you want to see it, or not) it's winter uniform time.

And I don't mean to say that I don't like people's individuality, because I do.
I just wonder, sometimes, if you looked in the mirror and thought "I look good!" before you left your house, or if you know you're a mess?

No wonder I don't have friends.

Maximum Quality Time

Do you ever feel like sometimes you don't even have time to blink?

I lead a reasonably busy life.

Working full time takes up a huge majority of my waking hours.

Travelling to said job, karate lessons, day care, school takes up additional hours.

I've written about this before, but its something I think needs to be mentioned again, and it's one of those questions I get asked a lot or is brought up in discussion again and again.

DISCUSSION: I don't get to spend a lot of time with my kids!

For me, it's not always about the quantity of time I spend with my kids but the quality time. We have the morning commute, which is about 30 mins, where we can talk, listen to music, and enjoy our time together. 

In the afternoon commute, I like to ask the kids about their day, what they learnt, how they felt etc. It's the best time to hear their enthusiasm for learning, their friends, sports etc. I love it!

DISCUSSION: How do you have time to do all these things you do with your kids?

Easy, I make time. I try to incorporate my workout around things they're doing or times when they're asleep. We have two full days on the weekend and we use that time to its full potential, whether we're going out and doing something or just sitting at home spending the day together.

You prioritize what's important to you. That's it.

This is not my usual sarcastic tone, but it's still opinionated. Eh, that's me right?

Conversations with crazy people!

If you need a little levity in your day, listen to conversations children have.

I have two crazy boys, who are completely different in every possible way.

Mana - 5 years old: Fair skinned, tall for his age (95th percentile), stockier (95th percentile), and is a lot like his father.

Koa - 3 years old : Dark skinned, average height (50th percentile) average weight (50th percentile) a lot like me.

Some conversations I've overheard my kids having the past two days that have me in fits.

Mana : Koa, I got a paper cut today and my teacher gave me a bandaid.

Koa: Pepper isn't an ironman.

Mana : Yes she is, she's a pink one.

Koa: You can't get cut on a paper.

Me (listening): Weirdo's.

Another conversation my sister, Miranda, and I overheard after I returned home from Koa's wellness check up at the doctor. He had to get 5 shots, and was not happy.

(walking into the house crying)

Mana: Koa, what's the matter?

Koa: I got poked!

ME: You didn't get poked, you got shots.

Koa: I got rejections!

Miranda: Do you mean injections?

Koa: I mean shots!

Mana: I got 14 shots. (Full of crap. He got 4, four months ago)

Koa: Geez Mana, I've got holes in my legs!

And finally, from last night.

Koa spent the day with my sister and nieces. My niece Kiki is his best friend and when I went to pick him up we decided to bring Kiki with us for a sleep over.

Her favourite song to sing is Jesus wants me for a sun-BEAK and she asked me to play it for her so I played the Children's song book app on my iphone in my car.

I left the app playing and it rolled through to the next song, and this picture popped up.

App picture on top, Koa on the bottom.

Koa: Mummy! That's me right? That's me and not Mana right?

Me (I glance at it and BUST UP LAUGHING): No! That's not you!

Koa: Yes it is Mummy! You're tricking right?

Me (still laughing): No, it isn't you.

Koa (starts crying): It is me!

Sushi and Crepes - The Finale.

Thursday, the day after my Birthday

So, BROTHER 1 was assigned Thursday.

Sorry to put you on blast BROTHER but I wasn't convinced you'd come through for me.

I can be pretty determined (obviously) and I IM'd my big brother a couple of times. Both times with a message about what time it was, and how many hours were left in the day for him to get it done!

And after a staff meeting, I returned to my office to find twenty Sobe Green Tea's! And well, you know how I feel about Sobe's. Inspirational!

My company had a Summer Party Lunch Luau (yes, I wore my muumuu) and I was convinced they had planned this to celebrate with me!


And though, I should have had another fabulous day, that damn niggling feeling from the day before (SOCKS !?!) was bothering me.
In the morning, it just sort of pestered me. Somehow by the end of the day, that mild annoyance turned into full blown hysteria (the power of autosuggestion).
It's a funny thing the mind. When you start to follow a train of thought, all the weird and wondrous directions it decides to go and the conclusions you so often come to. Because of my absurd imagination, I started to wonder about of a couple of my friends who, normally text to see if we should do dinner or something when it's my birthday .. and I didn't get those text messages this year. Such a girl.


I called The SAINT latter in the day TRIPPING out about doing something or getting something better than socks.
And if you know me, if I get too pissed off, I'll cut you off for a bit, and I was about ready to cut The SAINT off.


The SAINT tried to call me a few times, after I sent an email ranting .. I'm sure it was something like "If you insisted on getting me socks, you should've at least gotten me 30 pairs!" or some other nonsensical idea. But lucky for him/me, not sure, I was in a meeting and I couldn't take his call.


So, The SAINT called SISTER 1. And asked SISTER 1 to throw me a bone.
And, SISTER 1, being the savant she is, came in to see me.
And listened while I tripped out. 
Then told me, "The SAINT has something planned for tomorrow. You need to calm down, and you need to dress better than you have today, because there'll be pictures, and you'll be pissed". 
Now THAT's the way to throw me a bone SISTER!


So, I left the office on Thursday, feeling like a douche but now rather invigorated for my Friday!


Friday ...

SISTER 1 had been appointed commissioner of the Friday celebrations! I wasn't concerned at all.
We'd already planned on getting mani/pedi's after work, and well, it was Friday, who isn't stoked about that?

So, I was treated, again, to some tantalizing sugary treats ... Raspberry Sweet Rolls from Shirley's!
And also, individual serving Martinelli's and a film strip picture frame completed with interchangeable pictures!


My Uncle called to see if we wanted to go to lunch with him at ASTRO, his stomping ground, and so SISTER 1 and I met our Uncle and our cousin at ASTRO. NICE!


While at ASTRO, my favourite KEV-IN-THE-WORLD (KITW for future reference) showed up with a dozen red velvet cupcakes from The Sweet Tooth Fairy (and I didn't even ave to con him into doing it!).


I was riding a high, feeling adored, and left work a bit earlier to go down to Provo and get my nails did with my sis.
We picked up our kids from day care (I know you wonder what happens to my kids all day while I'm slaving away, fear not, they are safe and happy at daycare) and dropped them off to my brother in law and headed south.


SIDE NOTE: UDOT sucks. The I-15 southbound at some points goes from 6 lanes to 2. So frustrating when traffic is bad. I ALMOST turned around, but didn't want to miss my surprise party. HAHAHA.


So, the sister and I went and got a mani/pedi and wondered around the Riverwoods in Provo. 
The wind kept blowing my stupid dress up and since I wasn't sure where we were going, I wasn't sure that me giving everyone (or no-one) a show would be appropriate.
So, we stopped into a store and I bought some clothes, then got changed.


When my sister FINALLY said, time to go, she jumped into the drivers seat of my car and we headed to our destination.
We headed west on University Parkway, and anyone who knows Provo/Orem knows all the restaurants down that street. 
As we drove my each place, my heart was racing as I wondered "is this it" (Mimi's Cafe) or "PLEASE don't be here" (Golden Coral).
As we continued on West SISTER 1 took a left and started to head to ... Walmart. Walmart? Walmart!
We're driving I'm thinking ... What the hell? And then, she flips a U turn at the walmart lights, and we head back east. Phew.
As we started to approach Golden Coral, I'm thinking "HELL NO" and my heart starts beating faster, then we drive past it, again and I'm, again, relieved.
As we started to approach State Street, I started to get excited. 
I love crepes. LOVE them.
And as we head further South, I'm thinking "We're going to Roll Up Crepe" and when my sister flips the indicator on at the lights right beside Roll Up Crepe I raise my hands above my head, all victorious or something and yell "I LOVE CREPES!". 
Yes, this really happened.
When we pull into the parking lot its all blocked off, and I can see a few of my workmates and their significant others and I'm thinking "Is this closed?".
But no, the girl lets us into the parking lot so we jump out and walk on in.
And I stand in the door looking for The SAINT, staring at a few people before a rather delayed, but reasonably enthusiastic "SURPRISE" happens. 
And as I walked in further, I saw some AMAZING family and friends there to celebrate with me.
I swear I had perma-grin, as I walked up to The SAINT, utterly in love, to give him a kiss and say thank you.


He'd organized with the Roll Up Crepe to close their doors for 4 hours so it was just us.
He'd hired the most legit balloon artist guy ever, who arrived with a 4ft balloon imitation of me as Katniss, so the kids would be entertained.
He'd given out name tags prior to my arrival, and asked different people to put words that describe me on their name tags.
He'd also hired his sushi buddy to make sushi for everyone. 


I don't know what I THOUGHT he would do, but it was nothing like this, and, I LOVED IT!!
Good food, good people, good times!


The SAINT confessed to me later that he hadn't lied when he said "I planned something but it fell through", he'd originally planned to have the party soeme where other than The Roll Up, so that portion of the party fell through.
He told me he'd planned on this for months, and he wouldn't just give me socks, and hoped I enjoyed my week, and my party.


What a guy right? Flippin Legend.

Sushi & Crepes - Part Toru

So, if you're still with me, HOW did I celebrate in my own special way?


Why, with a BIRTHDAY (WORK) WEEK of course!


Monday, the beginning of my birthday week...


Usually's Monday's drag a bit right?
And the Monday of my birthday week, well the morning anyway, appeared to be the same type of Monday as all other Monday's. Slow. 


I asked Stephen if we'd do anything, like maybe a dinner or something with our friends on Friday, and he didn't seem interested at all. Slightly disturbed by his indifference, I decided I would do what I could to make sure I was thoroughly entertained throughout the week. 


Mid morning I received a call from the receptionist "You have a delivery here at the front desk!".
To my surprise, one of my awesome co-workers who lives out of state, sent me a delicious edible arrangement (including mangoes, kiwi fruit, chocolate covered strawberries and chocolate covered banana's) I was STOKED!
What a way to start a Birthday week!

But, it gave me an idea.
I thought to myself, to have a Birthday Week that doesn't disappoint me, I'm going to have to assign people specific day's to celebrate me. Conceited, I know. But, it was my Birthday and week and it's my blog so suck it.


To have a successful Birthday Week, which to mean would mean enjoying each day of my week, well, in my mind the best idea was to assign people day's to delight me. So I did. Using the best tool I could think to use, facebook.


I made assignments to my work besty (WB) for Tuesday, BROTHER 1 for Thursday and SISTER 1 for Friday. Pure genius.
I posted comments on their facebook pages, as well as mine, setting my expectations. I actually went so far as to tell them "Don't disappoint me" to be sure I wasn't going to be, well, disappointed. I know, my boldness know's no bounds sometimes.
Obviously The SAINT had Wednesday, my actual Birthday. Obviously.
The SAINT was also pretty damn sick Monday, so I wanted him to rest up for my Wednesday excitement.


So, with my Monday successfully completed I decided it was time to figure out what kind of Celebrations we were going to have for my actual birthday.
I went home and talked to The SAINT and he was rather nonchalant about the entire thing, telling me we could do dinner, but probably just with BROTHER 1 and family, and SISTER 1 and family. He didn't want to do a big thing and organize too many people. I wasn't phased though, I was all gung ho thinking, I'm on a roll with my celebrating!


Tuesday, the day before my ACTUAL Birthday (but also my actual birthday in New Zealand)


The SAINT and I had decided to go to dinner and a movie that night (matinee prices at Megaplex Theaters on Tuesday .. in case you didn't know) so, I knew that Tuesday, was going to be a good day.


And when the WB came upstairs and delivered a baker's dozen cupcakes from my FAVOURITE cupcake shop, The Sweet Tooth Fairy, I was thrilled! 
(Thrilled - not a word I use often, but I'm feeling it right now).

The SAINT was still feeling ill, but like the good man he is, and since we'd planned on it, we went to The District, my movie theatre of choice, and watched Snow White and the Huntsman and ate dinner at Red Robin (YUM) across the road. A good time was had by all.


Wednesday, THE BIG DAY!!!


I awoke to a still somewhat sick husband, who got up and made me a delicious smoothie, got the kids ready and sent me on my merry way.


When I got to work, I was greeted by a surprise in my office thanks to the WB. There were balloons all over the floor and attached to my computer, confetti on every ledge and in every crevice, streamers, just a complete mess. A magical mess none the less. It was AWESOME!

At my morning meeting with my Supervisors, feeling pretty good I might add, I was treated to a very cool Birthday surprise. My team had all gone in on a few things for me, and for my meeting, I got to open a bag of goodies.
There was chocolate, more chocolate, Monsters (a terrible addiction), my FIRST muumuu ever (apparently my face said it all, and I pulled the fingers when I actually opened this sensual flowery red material) and my favourite .. BUNDT CAKES (well, bundtini's from Nothing Bundt Cake). I was feeling too too spoilt, and a little guilty for forcing people to celebrate me on other days, but that feeling was fleeting.

I'd already planned to go The Chocolate for lunch, for a sugar overload with a few work mates so I knew the day was only on the up and up.
While at The Chocolate with my work mates, I received a phone call from The SAINT telling me he was going to come up and see me, since it was my Birthday and all, and I was very excited about that.


I got back to work in time to see The SAINT for just a short time before he had to go back to work, and he brought me a Bundt cake, another tray of bundtini's and .... some socks. 
Socks? 
Socks! 
5 pairs to be exact. Some hiking socks in my favourite colour combination (North Carolina blue and gray) and some socks wrapped together and made to look like cupcakes. Still socks.
I pulled all the paper out of the sock gift bag only to be told "Nope, there's nothing else. Just socks". Just socks.
The SAINT told me he'd ordered my present, but it wouldn't be here til Friday or Saturday, he wasn't sure. My brain was screaming "Why didn't you order it earlier, my Birthday is the same time, every year" BUT because I was too stoked to see The SAINT, I left that little nugget alone.

Armed with MORE cake, I sat in the magical mess, eating cake, working, and basically loving life.


The day rest of the day flew by and for dinner, The SAINT and I and our children hit my favourite restaurant Carrabba's for dinner.
All in all, a rather fabulous day.


But, all was not right in the world. You see, The SAINT, is a grand gesture kind of person to me. I got a new car this past Christmas. I get GOOD presents from him, always. I know it's terrible to expect something good, but, I kind of do. So the fact that I got socks, didn't quite sit right. 
And, after an awesome day, I should have been filled with gratitude because of how it all went. That would be too easy wouldn't it? And so unlike me. So, much like me, a seed of concern had been planted in my mind.


If you're still with me ... I'll finish the rest of this tomorrow. It's a lot, I know, but if you stay tuned, you'll see just how saintly The SAINT really is, and you'll know some people have unfathomable patience, namely, my husband.

Sushi & Crepes - Part Deaux

Alrighty reader, here we go with PART TWO.


So, i went over the fact that I expected a CELEBRATION in PART ONE.
I was pretty blunt about that fact, trying to convince Stephen that he and I should go on a cruise, or a holiday somewhere, you know, typical stuff.


So, I was convinced The SAINT was organizing a surprise party. He'd mentioned a few things here and there prior to June, that lead me to believe I was right. He made an off handed comment when I mentioned I wanted a ridiculously priced gift, something like "I'm planning something, so try not to spend too much money". This I will refer to as supporting fact 1.


So, with my vivid imagination and a dream, I imagined all manner of scenario's, dancing elephants, acrobatic monkey's, Magic Mike (kidding). No, I surmised his plan was to throw a Surprise Party.


I was so confident, I told my friend's in New Zealand, "Yeah, The SAINT is throwing me a surprise party." 


I'm going to type in GREEN, the clues, that supported my belief.


Earlier in the year


A good friend of The SAINT's, an AMAZING photographer and Sushi chef, was on this past season of Survivor. The TV Show.  We went to a Survivor viewing party to support said friend and I noticed The SAINT sneakily whispering to his buddy.


I'm not usually crazy suspicious, but in this case, my spidey senses were tingling, and they're usually pretty on point, so I'll deem this supporting fact 2.



The weekend before the week of my Birthday ...

The SAINT wanted to go to Vegas for the weekend. There was a baptism for a nephew, he had a groupon for a hotel, you know how it goes. Since I'd barely gotten back from NZ (6 days), it was an opportunity for a nice family weekend getaway.


I'd started to doubt the certainty I'd once had about my Surprise Celebration the week before my Birthday.
I sent some emails to The SAINT, fishing for information to confirm or deny a possible surprise party. 


I was shut down, pretty brutally I might add.
While in Vegas, the following happened ...


At the baptism, The SAINT was talking to his Aunty. The portion of the conversation I overheard was "just come to the party next week" which to me, is supporting fact 3. 


A little while later, while hanging out at The SAINTs cousin's house, we were talking about some AMAZING books (not really. Fifty Shades of Grey anyone?) and I think I may have mentioned I was turning 30 the following week. One of the cousins said "Oh we're sorry we can't make it to your party, we wanted to be there" .. supporting fact 4.


By this point I was pretty damn confident i was having a party, and on the drive home Sunday, was feeling rather enthusiastic about my upcoming Birthday.


Sunday Night I say to The SAINT "So, what are we doing for my Birthday?".
In a pretty serious voice he says to me "Okay, so, I originally planned something but, it fell through" and so I'm thinking ok ... supporting facts for surprise party, just blew up. 


SIDE NOTE: The SAINT, is saintly, in that he doesn't lie, ever. He doesn't over exaggerate the truth usually, so I was pretty damn sure whatever he had planned had seriously fallen through. 


So, with one statement, I was POSITIVE my surprise party was no longer. Since it was Sunday, and my ACTUAL Birthday was on Wednesday, I wasn't too worried, I figured, he can plan something last minute, get some family and friends together for dinner, it'll be a good time!


I left it to The SAINT to organize a little something but decided for myself that I was going to celebrate my Birthday in my own special way.


I'm sick of writing for now .. I'll finish the actual birthday week later today.

Sushi & Crepes - Part One.

An odd combination I’ve been told, but when I point to myself, I get a head nod and a “Yeah, that’s pretty you”.

SO, I turned 30 this month. The BIG DIRTY THIRTY. 3 weeks ago to be exact. And being the girl that I sometimes choose to be, I wanted, not just a 30th Birthday Party but a 30^th CELEBRATION ! (cue fireworks and jazz hands). But, in order to fully comprehend the entire situation, I'm going to take you back

A few years ago ...


My birthday is the first week in June. The 6th to be exact. 
When Stephen and I first met, he worked from 2pm to midnight.
At the beginning of every month, from the 6th on, he couldn't request time off or be out of town, it was a requirement of the job.
We would celebrate my birthday on the 5th "because it's the 6th in New Zealand" for the first few years. One year, Stephen wasn't even in the country for the my birthday, so we didn't even do anything. So, you can see, I'm slightly sensitive when it comes to my birthday and my husband.


Fast forward to earlier this year ...


I'm not subtle, clearly, so I made a pretty big deal about the fact that I was turning 30 this year.
All year. 
I was pretty vocal about the fact


Last month ...


In May,  I went to New Zealand for 7 days. A VERY short trip, with a specific purpose, namely, BROTHER 3's wedding.
Why only 7 days you ask? Because, I had to work, and ... I went to New Zealand in March.
"YOU WENT TO NEW ZEALAND IN MARCH AND MAY!" is the all to often incredulous question I receive.
Ah, my Grandma died in March, so yes, I definitely went back and we'd planned earlier in the year for the husband, kids and I to go back to NZ for BROTHER 3's wedding, and BROTHER 4's return from his mission.
But since BROTHER 3 and Grandma changed the plans, we cancelled the family trip.
The husband and I were sitting on the couch at the beginning of May and he randomly asked "Do you want to go back to NZ for BROTHER 3's wedding?" To which I responded "No".


Now, while you might think I'm ridiculous saying no to a trip to NZ, in March, our 3 year old and I traveled 44 hours to get from Auckland, NZ to Salt Lake City, UT, via CHINA. Five (5) planes, a crazy country and a 3 year old? 
Exactly.


The other reason, you'll see in the disclaimer below the next sentence.


So, after a very convincing conversation with my husband (You'll fly direct to NZ and it'll be on Air New Zealand, blah, blah, sweetness) I was convinced and excited.


[DISCLAIMER: I'm very particular about certain things. Food, presents I receive from my husband. I want what I want, and would rather get nothing, then get something I didn't want. I'm not like this with everyone, just with Stephen, though I LOVE homemade gifts more than anything! Especially from my babies, and definitely from my husband. It's just, in my mind, I think, if you're going to spend our money on stuff for me, just get me stuff I want. Logical right?]


All this being said, I didn't want the trip to New Zealand to be my Birthday present. I'd like to say I'm sorry, but I'm not. The above disclaimer explains why, no need to elaborate.
By now, I'm sure you're thinking, your husband must be a SAINT to be married to someone like you. I agree, therefore, we will refer to him moving forward as The SAINT.


I feel like this story is quite long. So I'm going to take a break. Be prepared for part two later.

There’s a caterpillar in my raspberry

I bought a punnet of succulent raspberries from the store

On a hot summer’s day, nothing satisfies me more!

I sat down to enjoy my mouth watering, juicy berries

The excitement, elation,  overwhelmed me, I was merry!

Enthusiastically I sucked a ripe berry through my lips

And felt something fall onto my tongue, just the tip

So I popped out my tongue just to stare for a minute

And found staring back, was a CATERPILLAR, dang it.

So I picked up the caterpillar and placed it in front of me,

And I told it “Go on, crawl away and be free

Don’t let life pass you by

And because I didn’t eat you, you’ll become a BUTTERFLY!"

{DISCLAIMER: What really happened was ... I put a raspberry in my mouth and before I bit into it I felt something on my tongue. 

I poked my tongue out, and found a dead caterpillar. Gross. Just glad I didnt chew it.

I like the version in my head better.}

Sobe of the BirthDAY Week

You flatterer you.

TMGB

The next page of stupid

Or maybe this one?

The Mean Green Bean

I'm entertaining myself with this story I'm writing. It's ridiculous, its a "children's story" and I'm illustrating it for my kids.

Why?

I want them to learn some valuable life lessons in an entertaining way.

Here are a couple of pages.

See if you can determine the theme.

I'll add a few pages over the next month.

Maybe, when it comes to sex ed I'll do this for them.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

a day of firsts ...

And most definitely not the good kind.

I forgot to pick Mana up from school yesterday.

By the time I remembered and realized, I was already 35 mins late.

When I did remember I freaked out, jumped up and ran out of my office in a panic.

I saw my sister and I'm sure she saw the absolutely wild look in my eye and she said "Stephen said the school called, Mana is ok, he's in the office" as I bolted out the door to my car.

Obviously my overactive imagination envisioned all manner of frightful scenarios, and as I drove to the school to pick Mana up, I called my husband completely hysterical.

There was crying, hyperventilating, you know, the whole deal.

Stephen, as usual, was awesome. Calm and understanding, he talked me through my over reaction, tried to comfort me when I was feeling utterly worthless, and reminded me "you'll have a hard time getting over this, you won't do it again, so don't be so hard on yourself".

I imagined my poor sensitive son sitting in the school office crying (he's a crier) and the emotional toll it would have taken on him. 

I know, I got a bit carried away, I often do when it comes to my kids.

So, I pull into the parking lot, run into the office and the Principal is sitting in his office and asks me, with a smile on his face, who I'm there to pick up.

I tell him Mana, and his teacher walks out of an office and says "'l'lI go get him, he's playing outside with the other kids".

The Principal walks out of his office, a knowing look in his eye and says "This must be the first time you've forgotten your child".

I sign him out of school and take a seat to wait for him, trying to slow my heart palpitations.

I hear my boy before I see him, and he's all smiles, holding his teachers hand and runs over to me, filled with excitement "I played soccer with some bigger kids, it was super cool Mummy!".

I reached down to cuddle him, finally relieved he's safe (as if he wasn't) and hear "Mummy, stop, don't cuddle me any more". Tear.

No worries for my son.

And now I'm left with the "mum guilt" or "mom guilt" as my friend put it.

That's the guilt I will endure when I miss anything, significant or not, in my child's life.
Then there is the "mum work guilt" when I miss anything because of work.

Ah that's a choice you make when decide to work.

Damn, sometimes!

you disappeared on me!

Ah reader. That I did.

I disappeared, for a spell.

My grandma died.

I cried about that.

I went to New Zealand. 

And actually missed living there.

My job changed. 

My son is going to pre-school.

Sometimes you get offline to deal with life.

But ... I'm back.

And full of snark.

You break it, you bought it!

Today, Mana learned one of life's indeliable lessons, "You break it, you bought it".
He and one of his buddies at day care decided they would do something exceptionally clever today.
They lifted one of the plastic tables from IKEA, put their weight on the table top, and snapped two legs off the table.
(see below)

After I walked in and discovered what my child had chosen to do today, he and I had to have a chat.
I asked Mana "Did you do this?" in a small voice, he whispered "Yes".
We discussed why he did this (I don't know, we pushed on it and it broke) and the we talked about the consequences.
I sat him down and told him, first things first, you better apologize, and he walked over to Lesia, his daycare provider, with tears in his eye's and said "I'm so sorry Lesia".
I explained to him, when you break something that doesnt belong to you, you have to replace it. When you replace things like a table, things that cost money, you have to earn money or sell something.
One of his favourite things to play with is his Nintendo DS and one of his favourite games is Scribble Naughts.
I told him "Well Mana, you're going to have to sell your Scribble Naughts game so you can get some money to give to Lesia, and replace her table", still teary eyed from apologizing, he nodded his head in agreement.
On our drive home, with his little heart all broken, he said to me "Mummy, are you disappointed in me?" to which I replied "Yes son, I am. But I love you very much".

Somewhat understanding what he had to do Mana decided to empty his piggy bank so he could give his coins to pay for the table.

He wrote a letter to Lesia and we put all his coins in a ziplock bag to take to her tomorrow.
For him, he is learning to sacrifice something he loves (Scribble Naughts and his coin bank) and to understand it's important to take care of other people's belonging's.
Can he comprehend it all right now? I don't know.
But a foundation of accountabilty can begin to form.

My hope for my children

Sometimes, it feels a little bit like I live in a time warp.

Last night I went to sleep with a new born baby, as a first time mother, nervous, overwhelmed and in awe of the life Stephen and I had created.

This morning I woke up 5 and a half years later, with two kids who go to preschool, think for themselves, and have wonderful idea's on what they should eat, play with, and do with their day.

Time flies doesn't it?

I worry about the world my children will be raised in.
I worry about the world my children will raise their children in.

I worry about my competence as a parent, and as an example of how a woman should be.

I hope my children always love me, and respect me, even when they don't like me.

I want my children to be good people. 

To be strong, kind, loving, independent, confident, honest people.

I want them to think for themselves, formulate their own ideas, fail sometimes, learn the hard lessons and build character.

I want them to understand the value of hard work, how to earn their keep and pay for themselves. 

I want them to learn to apologize, admit when they are wrong, to never be too proud to say sorry.

I want them to live their dreams, be successful and to truly find happiness.

I want them to be proud of their heritage and understanding of others.
I want them to be open to new experiences and enjoy all the first's life has to offer.

I will say no to them. 

I won't debate with them ... right now. 

Because they are 3 and 5, and I'm right.

When they whine and tell me "I want to do that" sometimes I will tell them " I don't really care what you want" .

Not because I don't care about their wants, it's important to learn that just because you want something, doesn't mean you'll get it. 

I'll focus on their needs.

And whining is annoying.

I'll try my hardest not to pressure them into do things just because I want them to.

But, when they decide to play a sport, or take music lessons, I will make them stick to it for a couple of years and not just give up. 

I will help them learn the value of commitment, help them learn the importance of their word and help them understand that doing things you don't always want to do, will build character.
I want them to be humble when they win, and gracious when they lose.

We will teach them the value of the dollar. 

The importance of paying tithing.

The satisfaction of saving money to buy something you want.

We will also teach them as children, just because you have the money to buy something, does not mean you can buy whatever you want (M15+ video games for a 10 year old? NO).

Sometimes, they'll think I'm old fashioned, and my values are old school, and I won't care.

I will teach my kids to read, and hope they develop a love for it much as Stephen and I do.

I will teach them to use their imagination, and to enjoy being the age they are.

I will encourage them to have real life role models. 

Their father, grandfathers, uncles, good men who have real life influence over them.

Sometimes my kid's aren't going to like me.

In fact sometimes I think they'll actually believe they hate me. 

Sometimes, I'm going to make decisions for them that make them feel justified in their feelings of hatred. 

I will always put their safety first, and make decisions based on what I feel is right, and if they don't like me because of it, I'm okay with that. 

I'm here to be a parent, to raise my children to learn right from wrong, and then trust them to make good decisions ... when they turn 18  ...or maybe 30?

I will teach them to be accountable, for their words and their actions.


Some advice from my Grandma on endurance, words of wisdom I hope to impart on my children: You keep going because you have to. What, do you think someone else is going to do it for you?

In short, my hope for my children is love.

That they love each other, love themselves, and love life.

Grooming thineself

Oh to groom, you MUST groom,

As a woman, your doom

Do you learn of these traits as you bake in the womb?

And a groom, it’s a male

Yeah it figures the plan,

To make woman self conscious

Was taught by a man.

Prickly legs or a MO?

Bushy eyebrows, Hell no!

It’s a shame that you’re covered in fuzz that must grow.

To pluck and to tweeze

Errant hairs, BAH disease!

Don’t you wish those damn hairs would just fall out with ease?

On the subject of hair,

We could go all day,

Coz there’s sideburns, and toe hair, “Unmentionable” dismay

And the make-up girls wear?

It’s face painting with flare!

When you highlight each feature, you see it’s all there.

Oh, and blend your foundation

Yes you must, you must know

Is that base, that you paste, on your face there for show?

When you wash it all off,

All the lotions and creams,

Cleanser, toner and moisturizer make your skin feel a dream.

We go on to the clothes, as you primp and you press,

Is it shorts you should wear, maybe jeans or a dress?

Think about the occasion, the weather, your shoes

Just …  flatter your shape, or you’ll be no-one’s muse

Then there’s hair, yes more hair!

Though I mean on your head,

If you’re lucky it’s perfect, when you rise from your bed.

The tools for this trade,

For construction? Not so,

Cement, putty and gel,

Hair extensions that glow?

Accessories to accessorize,

Oh my goodness, it’s fair,

To match earrings, I’ve found one!

Dammit! Where is the pair?

A necklace, a bracelet, should they really all match?

Would you help me connect, lift my hair, fit the catch

And a ring, yeah some bling!

Is a FULL matching set a necessary thing?

Oh the effort it takes, to prepare to be seen

And you constantly check yourself, pulling, you preen

You strap garters, wear half slips, bra’s, panties and more

All that energy spent, just to walk out the door.

The point?

Oh there’s none, don’t you read what I write?

But you wasted five minutes

Reading crap for the night.

Busty Orbs, Obviously Bothersome!

Let's take a minute ladies, to talk about boobs.

Boobs are functional, built for the nourishment of babes, to be enjoyed, sexual chocolate, but mostly ... annoying.

As the bearer of an unnecessary sized chest, I think to myself, why would anyone want to get a boob job to make their jugs bigger?

In my opinion, and since it's my blog, it's really the only one that matters, more than a handful of mammary is a waste. 

You know what big boobs give you?

• A sore back. Carrying 10 pounds of breast can cause some back havoc.
• You look chubbier than you truly are. For some reason, the eye is drawn to the widest part of the body, so big boobs draw the eye out, making the bearer appear larger than they probably are. There is scientific proof somewhere that this is truth.
• You have to buy bigger tops. Your tops have to be longer, to stretch over the expanse of chest. 
• Button ups? Forget it! Those buttons will be stretched and mishapen, and  the material under the bust will hang limp and shapeless.
• Demure and cute? Think again! With a bust that size, everything looks porny.
• Running? Be sure you've poured yourself into no less than two sports bra's, possibly three. You want to keep the ladies close and secure.
• Tight Tops? No
• Horizontal Stripes? No.
• V Necks? Be cautious.  If it's too low, you look porny. Too high? You look chunky.
• Halternecks? They'll break your neck.

• Permanent Bra Dents in your shoulders. These suckers can get HEAVY! And on that note ....
• Sleep in a bra. You want 'em to stay perky? Keep 'em elevated. Though that under wire may be uncomfortable, stabbing you whilst you rest, it's better than having droopy knee slappers that you have to roll up like socks and fold into your bra. Ah the imagery.
• Braless?NEVER!
• Check your blindspot. Under the shelf of your chest is your big busted blind spot. Sometimes you can pick up strays under there .. like  a pen, or a piece of paper, food, who knows? It happens. 

Once a month, when things expand, I want to still have 2 boobs, and not have them double into 4. I'd like to be able to breathe comfortable, and not feel like I'm heaving in a fitted dress.

I want to run without holding myself, sleep without being stabbed, and not have the ladies constantly trying to make an appearance by popping buttons on a daily basis.

I guess my point is, A cup ladies, I'm jealous. Enjoy the freedom you have!