Let's take a minute ladies, to talk about boobs.
Boobs are functional, built for the nourishment of babes, to be enjoyed, sexual chocolate, but mostly ... annoying.
As the bearer of an unnecessary sized chest, I think to myself, why would anyone want to get a boob job to make their jugs bigger?
In my opinion, and since it's my blog, it's really the only one that matters, more than a handful of mammary is a waste.
You know what big boobs give you?
- A sore back. Carrying 10 pounds of breast can cause some back havoc.
- You look chubbier than you truly are. For some reason, the eye is drawn to the widest part of the body, so big boobs draw the eye out, making the bearer appear larger than they probably are. There is scientific proof somewhere that this is truth.
- You have to buy bigger tops. Your tops have to be longer, to stretch over the expanse of chest.
- Button ups? Forget it! Those buttons will be stretched and mishapen, and the material under the bust will hang limp and shapeless.
- Demure and cute? Think again! With a bust that size, everything looks porny.
- Running? Be sure you've poured yourself into no less than two sports bra's, possibly three. You want to keep the ladies close and secure.
- Tight Tops? No
- Horizontal Stripes? No.
- V Necks? Be cautious. If it's too low, you look porny. Too high? You look chunky.
- Halternecks? They'll break your neck.
- Permanent Bra Dents in your shoulders. These suckers can get HEAVY! And on that note ....
- Sleep in a bra. You want 'em to stay perky? Keep 'em elevated. Though that under wire may be uncomfortable, stabbing you whilst you rest, it's better than having droopy knee slappers that you have to roll up like socks and fold into your bra. Ah the imagery.
- Braless?NEVER!
- Check your blindspot. Under the shelf of your chest is your big busted blind spot. Sometimes you can pick up strays under there .. like a pen, or a piece of paper, food, who knows? It happens.
Once a month, when things expand, I want to still have 2 boobs, and not have them double into 4. I'd like to be able to breathe comfortable, and not feel like I'm heaving in a fitted dress.
I want to run without holding myself, sleep without being stabbed, and not have the ladies constantly trying to make an appearance by popping buttons on a daily basis.
I guess my point is, A cup ladies, I'm jealous. Enjoy the freedom you have!
5 comments:
AMEN!!!!!
To all of it!
hahahahaha!! I wish I could complain of the same ailment...instead I just have a large stomach which brings on a whole new set of problems ;)
Too funny. I agree with the "why do ladies get a boob job, especially beyond a D?" Mine only got huge when breastfeeding babies, now there like tiny, droopy raisin like sacks, probably cause i've had kids hanging off em for the past 4years? which i would rather prefer because, A - they don't bounce uncomfortably when exercising, B - being able to go FREE BOOB, i'd say that's equivalent to FREE BALL, while you rest is nice &breezy, &they don't get in a knot or droop on either side while sleeping on your back. C - no food collection (: &...D - smaller bra sizes are CHEAP (: So no complaits for small boobies, there's always a nice padded bra to make em look fuller (: Too funny cuz! Keep up the entertaining blogs (:
i have the opposite problem. boobs are too small, and belly comes out further than the boobs...altogether another problem. ahahahahaha....
BreeAnn, yes, you would give this an amen :) Jules, you are tiny stop it! Cand, "Free Boobing" should be a thing right? And Sanae, ah the joys of carrying children.
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