Grooming thineself

Oh to groom, you MUST groom,

As a woman, your doom

Do you learn of these traits as you bake in the womb?

And a groom, it’s a male

Yeah it figures the plan,

To make woman self conscious

Was taught by a man.

Prickly legs or a MO?

Bushy eyebrows, Hell no!

It’s a shame that you’re covered in fuzz that must grow.

To pluck and to tweeze

Errant hairs, BAH disease!

Don’t you wish those damn hairs would just fall out with ease?

On the subject of hair,

We could go all day,

Coz there’s sideburns, and toe hair, “Unmentionable” dismay

And the make-up girls wear?

It’s face painting with flare!

When you highlight each feature, you see it’s all there.

Oh, and blend your foundation

Yes you must, you must know

Is that base, that you paste, on your face there for show?

When you wash it all off,

All the lotions and creams,

Cleanser, toner and moisturizer make your skin feel a dream.

We go on to the clothes, as you primp and you press,

Is it shorts you should wear, maybe jeans or a dress?

Think about the occasion, the weather, your shoes

Just …  flatter your shape, or you’ll be no-one’s muse

Then there’s hair, yes more hair!

Though I mean on your head,

If you’re lucky it’s perfect, when you rise from your bed.

The tools for this trade,

For construction? Not so,

Cement, putty and gel,

Hair extensions that glow?

Accessories to accessorize,

Oh my goodness, it’s fair,

To match earrings, I’ve found one!

Dammit! Where is the pair?

A necklace, a bracelet, should they really all match?

Would you help me connect, lift my hair, fit the catch

And a ring, yeah some bling!

Is a FULL matching set a necessary thing?

Oh the effort it takes, to prepare to be seen

And you constantly check yourself, pulling, you preen

You strap garters, wear half slips, bra’s, panties and more

All that energy spent, just to walk out the door.

The point?

Oh there’s none, don’t you read what I write?

But you wasted five minutes

Reading crap for the night.